is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
