this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
