North Korea, Best Korea!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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