She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize