i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
