question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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