so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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