ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
