I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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