hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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