I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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