Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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