saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
her vagine was all disorganized.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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