Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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