pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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