so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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