Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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