PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
