and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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