Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
