Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize