i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sobbing to NWA
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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