I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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