Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
