The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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