I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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