"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize