So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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