idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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