A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's always time for handjobs
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
