Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
dude. I can hear the air.
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