dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
