It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
