3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize