Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
