it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
