so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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