Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize