One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just high enough for therapy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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