these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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