some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think people are normalizing furries
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize