No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
