I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
