I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
