This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
