Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
