Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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