I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
