D3 body, D1 cock
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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