Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize