whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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