He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
