hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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