We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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