Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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