your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
two words...techno handjob
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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